this.is.me. =)

the land down under...... hmmm

2005-11-15T16:10:00.000-08:00

hey guys! sorry havent rlly updated since promos were over. anw. yeap. now im in aussie. celebrated my birthday here. kinda cool. =) the temp is somewhat like s'pore's becoz its early summer. yea. attended the youth service and adult service in hillsong church last fri and sun. i tell u. its really and experience.and to tell u the truth, i kinda like it. =].for this week's service, a chrstian celeb poped by hillsong: Brooke Fraser. man. her songs really speak to the heart, and her guit skills is not bad. k. fine. quite good. yea. aussie's a great place mate, although the time difference is a kller. 3hours man. woah dude.

but anw.yeah. just bought her album, "what to do with daylight", and its a go-easy album. yeah. and this is the first year i spent my birthday without jas or josh. kinda sad. but at least i got to spend it with my jie whom i so dearly love. =] .yea. dunno what i would do without her. sometimes i dont say it, sometimes i dont even feel like admitting it, but i rlly thank God for her for everything she has helped me along, be it my personal life or in my family for those who know. and yeah.anw. spent my hol in sydney reading God Chasers and just having a retreat away from everything else in s'pore. and sometimes, my mom aint really helping ya noe. oh well. guess God put her here for a reason. still trying to find out why but slowly losing hope. press on dre. yea. tts pretty much about it.

anw. last fri went for the youth service. they have three sections. first is fuel- which is the p6-sec2, den there's wildfire- sec3-J1, den there's power house for J2-25 yrs old. yea. but since brooke fraser was there, they combined the services..and her singing is zai la. rlly zai. den after singing her first song, her guit was like out of tune. so she was stalling for time as she tuned the guit la. so funny. she like just made impromptu jokes from nothing while she tuned her guit. den there was this after party for everyone. yea.power house had some sorta club thing without the alcohlic stuff. so i got to meet some pple. yeah. goodlooking pple. lol. anw. yeah. at least now i noe some pple from aussie after like so long.

yupp. and u noe? i guess im seriously thinking about coming here to study after everything. i guess im in the process of asking God. anw. since yesterday was my bdae. so did quite a bit of stuff which im too lazy to type here. had a huge fish for dinner. does tt count? =) den went to the super nice beach with my jie and went to a christian megastore-koorong, to browse cds and books. yea.

i guess this is my time of rest. after this i wanna step out of this comfort zone im in. and im ready to lead a life of change for God. on the road to yearn, hunger, to be desperate and passionate for His face and His glory. its time for the Change.

tts all. dre.

the jonah sickness.

2005-09-27T23:28:00.000-07:00

dunno wat im talking abt? go read the book of jonah and find out. anw. yep. today has been a weird day. slept too long, woke up with a headache and an unwillingness to do any work. so now its like 1132pm and i havent even done a scrap of work the entire evening. and yea. fell so easily into a bad mood la. spent the rest of the evening just talking to kor and God. and sometimes i just wish that God will just take me away from this place. this horrible place. God, please. help. i need You. cant live a day without You. I dont have the strength to make it on my own.

... and every tear u cried, is precious in His eyes...

2005-09-04T15:15:00.000-07:00

hey guys, yupp. u noe, yesterday i found out something surprising, shocking and really devastating. and yea. apparently, someone likes my lil ol' good friend, Jas. and yea. i mean, thats not rlly uncommon, after all, she is QUITE POPULAR with guys. anw. when i heard about it, to tell u the truth, i was quite envious. but mostly, i was shocked. i didnt really expect him to like jas. and yea. spent the whole remaining few hours of the night tearing with my heart beating fast and violently. and i was confused. why was i acting this way? was it becoz of jealousy? i still dunno. den i guess, i realised that i was afraid of losing her again (as a friend, I mean, I really love Jas a lot in the brother-sister sense). After the last incident, i was so afraid of just losing jas again, and during that incident, it rlly hurt me a lot. and den i asked God, "k. fine. God? are ya teaching me to be grateful for my friends?" i dun think i got an answer. but i felt that was more to it.

yea. and i this morning, i was so affected that i just cldnt do my work and just sat in my room and plucked a very nice chord progression in C (at least nice to me) on my guit and just cried la. den my dad came, spoil the whole atmosphere. tsk. anw. yea. den i asked God why was i reacting so dramitically? i mean, its quite normal for guys to like jas, even older guys, but what so different about this one? den i realised that God was indeed telling me something else. I rlly wanna protect her and care for her, thats why i reacted so violently to the thought of knowing that someone else could take over from me, and i guess, i was afraid of losing jas. so afraid to the point where i broke down.

and u know what? its exactly the same with God. God loves us so much. He gave His only Son to die for us.He gave us His awesome and perfect love. He really wants to care and always protect us. He would give anything in order to protect us from the devil, to the point of even giving His own blood,His own Son. His only Son. and imagine, if i cried so much, afraid of losing Jas, imagine how God would be feeling if He felt that someone He loved so dearly, were to belong to someone else and He would lose them forever? especially to the hands of the devil which would destroy the very ones He loved so dearly and held close to His Heart? listen guys, God loves you so very much, more than every thing in this world added together, more than u can ever imagine, even more than Himself. You may have heard this song many times, but even as u read the lyrics, and listen the tune of this song, i pray for those who may have left, or turned away from Him, that you would turn back to Him, for His Love never fails; His love never ends; and He will never close the door. experience His presence, once again.

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear u cried
Was precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
And because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Tho your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He would take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come.

hey.

2005-08-28T14:15:00.000-07:00

hey pple. sigh. havent blogged in a month. so many things have been coming up. and rlly dunno what to do. hmph. and i miss my jie. she has been gone for so long le. haiz. HI JIE!!!! =D
u noe sometimes when ya just feel so sick of the world. u feel as if u wanna get away from it all. sometimes. u look at the world's shallow way of dealing with themselves, stuff such as drinking, clubbing, etc, and u say, been there, done that. and sometimes. u just wanna turn to someone that isnt of this world. and thats when i really thank God for just being God, knowing that He will take care of everything, and knowing that He will always be there for you. man. God rocks! =)

helloooooo?

2005-07-28T23:36:00.000-07:00

hey peeps. wah. today was a real tiring day manz. 4 physics tutorials in one day. its amazing up still alive... anw. the next verse to Father's Heart, enjoy:

Empty hands and heart
Nothing i can give
To Him who turned my life
into a treasure in His eyes

His love surrounded me
like a precious creation
Im captured by
His love for me.

Oh the Father's Heart amazed me
Beyond my wildest dreams
He said come into My presence
Come as you are.

Oh the Father's Heart amzed me
calling me His own
I may not see the reason why
But He's always by my side.

The Father's Heart.

2005-07-16T07:51:00.000-07:00

woah. it has been like 40 days since i blogged la. weird. oh well. anyway, im back again. after terms.after horrifying results. after lots of ups and downs. mostly downs. yup. thru plenty of challenges. thru many experiences. thru many things that have shaped my life. and i just wanna thank God that He has been good, even tho sometimes we may not feel Him near, or feel He isnt doing anything, He always is. more than you can ever imagine. yup. "When you cant trace His heand, trust His heart." Someone close always said that to me, and it really means so much.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Father's Heart:

My life is not my own
A steward in this world
Looking into the mirror
I see the image of my King

Deserving not a gift
But He gave His Son for me
To set me free, to set me free.

Oh the Father's Heart amazed me
Beyond my wildest dreams
He said "come into My Presence, come as you are."
Oh the Father's Heart amazed me
Calling me His own
I may not see the reason why
But He's always by my side.

u stoopid bobo head.

2005-06-06T22:27:00.000-07:00

crap. today had to make a decision. a decision tt wld be quite duh to other christians, but it was a struggle for me. yea. suddenly wat seemed like such an obvious choice became so hard. but i thank God He helped me thru it. now i know how adam felt. yea. guys, rlly. stay away the sin that so easily entagles, becoz once u allow urself to sin in just one area, that area wld be a foothold to the devil, and soon u'll realise that uve fallen and gotten urself entangled into sin. yup. stay clear of the enemy yea?!

hey guys

2005-06-06T00:33:00.000-07:00

havent blogged in awhile. school work's really piling up. got plenty of stuff to read up, understand, apply and practice before mid yrs. man. now why on earth didnt i go to sydney? sigh. holding on to God's promises man. tighter den u'll ever imagine. sometimes, u just feel as if its so hard to continue putting up with all these studying nonsense.. until col 3:23 comes in.. yea. oh well. for those having hols, have fun. for those piaing....... have fun too. =)

life is like a rollercoster,
each with its up and downs.
some are as high as mountain peaks,
some are as low as the deepest valleys.

but no matter what life may continue to bring us,
we'll always know that He'll always be there to guide us.
hold on. hold on.
cuz He's not done with you yet.

hey guys...

2005-05-22T11:48:00.000-07:00

hey doods! wow! just came from a swim in the RIVER. yea. u noe which one right?? not the physical one. yeah! it was great. man. the process of purifying is sure torturous. but when its done, it feels GREAT! man. service was great. pastor Dom truely is an annointed speaker! haha
yea. hope u guys are doing great! yea. last week of school! press on!! jia you! i was like standing at the edge of the RIVER trying to get rid of all the stuff that was not allowing me to jump in. man. im glad tts over! yea. JESUS, You're the reason i live. its all about You. Draw me close to You. cant live without You. and HELP ME to be victorius in school! =D Amen!

i cant live without You.

2005-05-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

hey guys. yea. sigh. it sure has been tiring this week although there was hardly anything happening. yup. ive learnt something this week. treasure and protect with ur life the presence of God. dont chase it away. dont do anything that will make Him leave. one week, i felt His presence with me when i went to school. but i stopped pursuing Him becoz of my content, thinking that His presence wld be with me..but, the following week was a disaster. i had to suffer thru school without His presence and it totally destroyed me. and it brought me back to the beginning of pursuing Him. pursuing His presence. yup. without Him, i cant live.

FINALLY!

2005-04-21T20:31:00.000-07:00

its finally friday tomorrow!!! finally! ive waited so long for this day. sigh. these 2 weeks in jc has rlly been a long and tiring one. everyday i wld like dread to go to school becoz of all the tests and homework. its a never ending viscious cycle.. yea. its like monday, u have the whole week ahead of you. sometimes, i just feel as if i wont survive the week, but. yea. thank God for some pple that rlly helped me thru this time.and thank God for sustaining me. its been a real rough week la. i mean its like. i rlly wanted so much to join Students' Council. every one was encouraging me to run for it. when i said i wasnt, they said i was a waste of talent la. haha. i felt so.....:"COOL! someone actually said that to me!"yea. and now i think back. was not joining rlly a good idea? having to sacrifice influence, fun, leadership training, position? i mean joining council will look so good on my records la. if i get in of course. yea. and im wondering if i heard God right or not. maybe He wanted me to join, but i din hear Him properly? yea. i rlly dunno. my future seems bleak. i guess maybe that might be one of the reasons why i feel so sianzified, bored and sick of studying these few days. i rlly dunno what to do now la. rlly dunno. i miss josh. i miss the people i was with back at sec 2. sis jo said that He will restore me to the joy and passion i once had before. How cld that happen if the pple so close to me seem, are, so far away? sec 3 was a great year. but it crashed at the end. God, i need You. i cant live one day without You. help. yea. guess thats all i have to say. yup. dre signing out.

hungry.

2005-04-10T12:07:00.000-07:00

hey peeps, just came from a great time with God. man, it was amazing. rlly. wow. didnt know that that could happen even in my room. wow. it was awesome man. ok ok.this is wat happened.....

pastor peter and band were just serving on their various instruments on the stage, everyone, and i literally meant everyone, was just worshipping God. it was awesome man. for so long i couldn't worship, the last few months, i just din noe why. but last nite. it was a breakthrough. muz be pastor peter's annointing. =) anw. it was real awesome, i was just tearing and thanking God for everything He has done in my life.. it was an awesome time. den, i felt someone poking me. (anti-climax right?) yah. sis candy was next to me and she was like poking my shoulder. when i looked behind, guess who i saw? sis esther. she was like saying they need more pple to serve in the nursery. i was like, WHAT?!? rlly! i couldnt believe it. sis candy was crying as she was worshipping, i was tearing and happily just enjoying God's presence and worshipping Him when someone asks me to serve in the nursery. its like. yes. exactly. anti-climax. wah! i was so unhappy la. dint wanna go. but i had no choice. yah. so i went and had to entertain kids from 2 and a half to four years old. and i started at 745. by the time it was 9, i gave up. ok. fine. 855. couldn't take it anymore. here i was, missing a chance to worship God, in His presence, especially after having a super dry period. this was the breakthrough i was hoping for, having a chance where there wld be nothing to stop me from worshipping Him freely, having no distractions, obstacles and tiredness in the way. and i had to give all that up, to entertain a bunch of monkeys. ok. fine. kids. having missed that great opportunity was already bad. imagine having kids crash land into ur lap at like 100 miles an hour and refusing to budge. ok. fine. 5km/h. and had to line them up and take them for a "train ride", teach them songs, play with them, colour their paper with them, go toilet with them. woah!! too much man. den somemore they dig their nose and with their ( or pi sai) on their finger, dry to rub it on u. WAH! thats when i started getting depressed. rlly. missing something great was rlly bad. it disheartened me. having to miss that for THIS was WORSE. after we were done, (me, atalia and rachel), i left and returned to the yas service which was by now, ended. i sat in the seat i only 2 hours ago used to occupy and just stoned and felt like crying.yah. den i went to macs and spilt a large cup of milo on the floor. yar. when i went home, i just din wanna talk to anyone. yup. lek and fran tried cheering me up, but thanks anw. yup. yar. so i fell asleep. leaving the com on. anw. yar. den today,this morning, when my parents left for church for 11am service. i just prayed, God, let me worship u and please fill this room with ur presence. and i worshipped with the guitar. it was awesome man. just typing this brings tears to my eyes la. rlly. worshipped with: all i want is to see ur face, stand in awe, dwelling places. it was good man. it was, not of this earth. rlly. never felt anything like it. rarely at least. it was God, i know it. It has to be. no one else could do this, except Him. thats why i knew i needed to write this down somewhere to remember. not only remember, but to cherish and hope i could do this again.yeah. some stuff i wanna share with u guys from the bottom of my heart.

Out of your heart and spiritman, your mouth sings. worship isnt lipservice or going through the motions. its pouring out your love, your heart to Him. thats when true worship pours forth. from the depths of your soul. and it doesnt matter if u can or cannot play an instrument or sing, it doesnt. becoz music without your worship unto God coming from your spiritman deep within, will be and is just noise. but when u worship God with an instrument, your worship unto Him flows through your instrument and to the pple, and to God. did u know that music combined with your worship to God can bring God's presence? did YOU know that it can drive out demons? It sure does. in 1 kings, if im not wrong, or somewhere, it says that an evil spirit would torment saul, and when saul was being tormented, he would request for David to play the harp, and the evil spirit would leave saul when David did. David's playing, ushered God's presence into the room that drove the evil spirit from Saul.

Don't hold back your worship. this was a struggle i used to have. i felt that, i have nothing more to give to Him, what else does He want from me? this morning i realised that i had so much i held back from Him, and when i let them go, He came. Abel gave God His firstfruits, His best animals to sacrifice unto God. He wouldnt give anything that had a blemish or wasnt perfect unto Him. Do the same! give God everything! all your worship! everything! empty yourself to Him, and He will come.

Every promise He has said to you, hold it close to your heart and never let it go. treasure them, cherish them. it will be your source of hope when your world seems to crash down on you. keep them safely and never lose it to the devil who will try to take it from you. Prophecies that has been proclaimed over you by pastors or church adults in the ministry, write them down, for they will eb god's promises for You. although it may seem absurd now, keep them, u never know when God will fulfill that prophecy in your life.

Lastly, i wanna end off by saying that im human. i do make mistakes. i do get tempted and stuff. but one thing that keeps me going is this: I love/fear God more than i love/fear men. and this i will hold close to my heart.

God Bless.

2 miracles. make that 3.

2005-04-09T14:55:00.000-07:00

heyz. yupz. im back. yup. firstly wanna thank God for getting me out of se4 and letting me take 4 subs! yupz. phy, chem, math, econs. argh!!!! and there are like a ton of tests next week. dunno how am i gonna survive manz. yarz. but its rlly a miracle la. i rlly din expect them to approve my appeal becoz i appealed before and the HOD didnt allow me. so sad rite. =D but its ok. yup yup. first miracle: i got into AC. 2nd miracle: got into 4 subs. oh! and one more. 3rd miracle: got into the class which i knew the most pple. yupz. rlly thank God like MAD!!! yupz. oh well. gtg nowz. take care pple. bb.

ACSian.

2005-03-31T20:14:00.000-08:00

yohz peeps. yeap. im in AC to join jas and funny friends! =X haha. yea. dun understand watever the lecturers are teaching man. i think they're arent speaking english. prob some new kind of language. yup. so tired. and. i've drifted far off course. FAR off course. feel as if i cant turn back. help. im drowning.

back here waiting

2005-03-19T23:54:00.000-08:00

harlo. ya. im back. =) thank God for my Os results! ya. looks like i'll be going ac? yea. i dunno. maybe i wanna go sa? aiya. let God decide la. =) yeap. missing josh sooooo much. oh. and despite my fabulous orienteering skills and knowledge about the west, i still lost the amazing race. crap. =P oh well. nvm. okie. neopets time. =)

wait.

2005-02-27T19:12:00.000-08:00

hey guys. im back.ya. tomorrow is the day man. 20 hours and counting. yea. i dunno wat im feeling now. just feel so emotionless. just like tt 2 mths has gone by. and now. we're gonna collect our results. ya. and. to tell u the truth, i rlly enjoed PJ. got to know some great pple and actually, it is a great school. yep. perfect for God's plan. yea. im really scared bout tomorrow becoz it will determine which continent im gonna be in the next few years. ya. everything's gonna change so fast. gonna cry soon. cry not becoz im scared. but becoz of the uncertainty of wats gonna happen tomorrow. it rlly sucks to not know wats gonna happen to you in the next year. ya. but i wanna thank serene in AC. yah. before she left, she said this: remember.. God has plans to prosper you and not to harm you! ya. and tt rlly reminded me of how God will and forever want the best for us. yeah. and during this times of uncertainty, oso wanna thank jeann for encouraging me by saying this: when u cant trace His hand, trust His heart. yeah. and i just find it very encouraging. oh well. all the best and God bless for tomorrow yeah? yep. signing off.
dre.

hey

2005-02-20T11:24:00.000-08:00

hey guys... yea. havent blogged in so long. ya. sigh. josh has gone to melbourne. missed him so much. still missing him. josh. u r very missed over here.. yeah. things have been so hectic and busy around here. each day comes and goes like nobody's business. izzit spelt correctly? i dunno. yeah. and hey! we're getting our Os in like 5 days? or a week? still unsure. trusting God that He will lead me to where He wants me to be. been in a dilemma for the last 2 months. not knowing where to go. oh well. i'll just wait den till He gives me an answer. yea. sigh. miss talking to jas bout stuff.. JC has been so busy. guess becoz of the lack of time.. yea. izzit me or is everyone suddenly daoing me. yea. dunno la. in an uncertain stage of my life now. yep. oh well. God bless for your Os yeah? yep. God bless.

AHHH!! ITS GREAT IN HERE!!

2005-02-07T22:42:00.000-08:00

hey guys!! haha.. im in sydney now.. yeah. its summer here!! but the temp is great! its exactly like simgapore.. just tt the heat is more intense and the air is dry.. real dry man..yeah. just went to the fish market. i tell u man!! we had a mega huge seafood buffet!! haha. bet angie's so jealous now.. =D anw.. it wuz like 120 bucks aussie and super ex. we had 1kg of cooked huge prawns, tuna and salmon sashimi(a huge box), a dozen fresh oysters, a piece of beer battered fish(which din have any taste of beer), two packets of fries, a box of calamari, a box of bbq baby octupus and a bottle of white wine.. haha. great rite?? lol. of course i shared la.. with my cousin, aunt and jie, lol. we ate until like couldnt eat anymore.. haha. den the afternoon sun was so hot lor.. den summore we were sitting on a METAL table and chair.. we all tried to squezze into the shade provided by the umbrella.. but there wasnt enough space.. so my elbow had to poke out in the sun while we were eating.. yea. uve guessed it. i got a sunburn only on my right elbow.. funny rite? =D its hilarious.. haha. anw.. yea. rlly which i wuz still in s'pore tho.. haha. wonder wats happening there now.. yea. anw. on a more serious note.. this is something i wanna share from my heart. yea.
When i was on the plane to sydney.. i saw a mom and her two kids sitting in the middle aisle and stuff. the kids were around 6? yea. ard there... and its like when they slept, i so happened to leave my seat to go to the washroom. yea. and the seat next to me wuz actually empty. so when i came back.. i realised that she was sitting on the empty seat next to mine.. she asked if she could sit there becoz her kids was sleeping on the four aisle seats, as in horizontally. yea. from time to time she would leave the seat next to me to check up on the children, occasionally providing them with extra blankets, tucking them in, singing lullabies and stuff to the children. and then it struck me. the love of a parent. how they are willing to give up their own personal comfort for their children. *not that sitting next to me is bad* but its like, she would sit with a total stranger out of total comfort just to make her kids comfortable. Our Dad is like that. sometimes as we walk thorugh life's peaks and valleys, we feel as if He's always there during our peaks and never there during the darkest valleys. but the thing is tt He is. He has always been.Just that we are too blinded by our sadness and self pity to even realise that He is there. the thing is that He's always there, comforting us, loving us, tucking us in into bed at night. always there caring and protecting us. whenever we feel depressed or spiritually tired, we suddenly feel as if we're all alone in this world, which is of course, not true. The only reason why we feel that way is becoz the devil has taken advantage of your depression to insert a BIG HUGE LIE into ur life. a lie saying that ur all alone in the world and no one cares about you. that is all CRAP. As i was readin the book: the bondage breaker for youths, we have power over the enemy. did u know that u can actually turn ur depression into joy in an instant? hah! bet u din noe that. but its true! God has given us "all authority in heaven and earth" to do His will! tt meaning the healing of the sick and so much more! and tt certainly means that we have the authority to rebuke all of satan's lies and deception thats causing us depression! and when that happens, you'll realise that Dad has always been there waiting for you! waiting for you to just run into His arms! haha.. now u know wat to do when ya depressed yeah?? =D yep. tts all i have to sae.. have a great week! God bless! =D

thanks for everything. =)

2005-02-02T10:50:00.000-08:00

hey guys.. yep. sorry bout yesterday.. guess i wuz kinda...... tired. yeah. but thanks for ur prayers and stuff. rlly appreciate it.. thanks to-- josh!, jas! and fran! yeah? yep. thanks.. todae wuz a better dae lar.. stoopid student council made us stay back to help them make smiley faces for them to sell on friendship day.. haha.. free labour lor.. unfair.. then they just sit on the chair shake leg.. yep. anw. now onto a more impt issue.. yep. guys, to anyone readin this... please stay close to God k? yeah. i mean, my 2 best budds is sinking into depression becoz of several issues in their life la... and for me.... mine wuz yesterday. yep. to whoever tts depressed or tired, seek Him k? tts the only way u can break out of it. yep. jas. this is for you k? im sorry if i wasnt someone tt u expected me to be, yeah. but jas, i rlly dun understand.. i mean what happened? i mean rlly.. what happened? jas... ur sad becoz u werent who u tot u were to us? isnt that for us to decide and not you? jas, listen to me. i know tt i have messed up myself a few times, and everytime u were there for me. and i feel, i am ashamed of not being there for you all the time. jas, josh leaving, and if i do leave, it doesnt mean that everything has to break up. tts of course u want it to. jas, all this stuff bout 'love ya' and 'im sorry', dun say it k? i mean the best kind of love is felt without even having to say it, and me and josh thank u for that. there's no need for you to say sorry becoz there's nothing to be sorry about. we live in the present, not the past, so whatever tts in the past doesnt matter anymore. there's about a week and a half left, and maybe we three cld just find a day to just talk and cry k? jas, u changed ever since that incident, i know you that u've changed. but we didnt say anything becoz perhaps u had a reason and we will wait until u feel comfortable to tell us k? and remember u said this? "dont cry out loud...... remember u almost had it all"? tt is pure crap. doing tt will only hurt u further. it kills u within, making u cry inside. jas, dun do this to urself. we're here. we may not be the ones u tot we were, but we wanna be k? yeah. jas, me and josh love u too, despite everything tt has happened. and we're sorry if we have hurt you as well. hope u'll accept our apologies. yep. thanks, jas. thanks for adding so much joy in our lives.

a time to be happy... a time to choose...

2005-02-01T21:16:00.000-08:00

hey guys... yeah. hows everything coming along for u guys? hope its going well... yep. kk...i'm so sad..........josh............. why u leaving next sunday?!?!? its not fairrrrrrrr...... u cant go!!!!! my best bud cant leave me here!!!josh...... do u rlly have to go... cuz i rlly dun wan ya to go... how are we gonna chat again?? about all the stuff that we usually talk bout? kel? communion? playground? glory(fake)? the long suspension bridge?? huh???? why???????sigh. rlly hate to see u go josh. rlly.
sigh. JC life is tiring... i rlly dunno.. last few days have been real......... tiring? i rlly dunno how to describe it. last two nights havent rlly been sleeping well. waking up several times during the night. den drowzing off again. its as if no matter how hard i try to sleep, to rest, it doesnt work. whether i sleep for 10 mins or 6 hours.. i'll still feel the same. not alert, but not tired either. when i go to school.... i just stone all the time.. and den i saw something on msn... yeah. only a few selected people noe about it... i felt a chill.. yep. izzit happening all over again? i hope not. if it is............ i have nothing to say la. just hope tt it isnt wat i think it is... yep. next issue. sigh. pple are thinking tt i have a stead or somethin. NO! i dont! k? sigh. just do wat u want.. i dunno. yep. think im talking nonsense now. but oh well. there is at least some meaning to it. do i stay? or do i go? thats the question tt i think has been keeping me from sleeping. i rlly dunno. my mind is in a mess now. in a mess after weighing out the pros and cons of going. ive did tt a hundred times, but i never seem to decide to leave or to go. its keeping me from sleeping, eating. i rlly dunno wat to do. suddenly i just feel lost. with no where to go. becoz of this, i feel as if the whole of me is affected. just dun feel anything; emotionless. feel like a robot. i guess im getting to stressed up abt this decision. but it IS an impt one.this decision will affect my future. yeah. and i guess i dun wanna mess it up. yeah. guess this is all i have to say. yep. thanks for hearing me out. yep.

TUTORIALS!! LECTURES!! NOOOoooOoOOoOOooo!!

2005-01-25T23:21:00.000-08:00

hey pple!! haha.. missed me? =D i knew it. muahaha. wah. finally finished a week of tutorials and lectures... i survived!! yay! haha.. the amount of homework is horredous k.. rlly!! haha. for those in JC, betcha u suddenly feel as if there's some sleeping powder in the lecture halls rite?? haha. as fran calls it: "nap time!" haha. yep yep. its rlly been a trying and tiring week.. sigh. another week has passed. josh is a week nearer to his departure date.. *sniff*. and i dun even know if i'll be joining himin the same continent.. yepp. hmmm. u noe wat my goals are this year?? to bring at least 2 pple from pioneer to cell and service!! yah. and to do well of course!! oh oh!! and to raise up my AWESOME NANCY(SOUTH-WEST) CELL TO BE LEADERS FOR HIM!!! THERE'S GONNA BE A CELL IN BOTH SA AND AC BY THE END OF THIS YEAR!! WOOHOO!!! ALRITE! GOD IS DOING A MIGHTY THING IN OUR SCHOOLS MAN! IF UR NOT READY, UR GONNA MISS IT! SO GEAR UP AND GET READY FOR HIS AWESOME TIMING AND PLAN FOR YA SCHOOL YA? =D oh!! did i tell u guys? went to jam on sunday.. which is yesterday la! yep. with shannie!! (shannon) and some AC guys and gal! haha. they're a mighty kewl and weird bunch man! haha. but i enjoyed myself!! and they still owe me 2 bucks!! shhhh... pai seh to remind them.. =) yep. and guess WATS MY LAST GOAL IS???? HAHA. TO SLEEP FOR 8 HOURS!! HAHA. YEP. IM 50 MINS LATE LE. KK. NITEY PPLE! TILL NEXT TIME..... GOD BLESS!!!!!!! =D

my first week!! =)

2005-01-09T21:29:00.000-08:00

hey!! im backk.. =) betcha missed me rite? =P ya. i noe. bhb. thanks. haa. okie okie. yep. although first few days wuz boring... it got better as i found my PEI HWA FRIENDS!!!! muahahaha.. so happy!!! lol. we were like.. eh? u from pei hwa rite??? alright!! haha. lol. den as we played games, we got to know one another better la. yeah. so it rawks!! ya. not bad lor.. all the clues quite realistic for the orientation.. quite surprised tt they did it to so detailed.. ya. SO SAD!!! poirot won.... so sad... aiya. its okay. WIMSEY rawks!!!! muahahaha. we got the earth-shaker award or something like that... ya. haha.. forgot wat le. =) wah. all the hokkien cheer so kewl lor.. rlly. got tons of them. haha. cant write here.. if not u confirm wun be able to pronounce it.. yah.(in case u dunno wats wimsey or poirot, they are the OG's names.. named after detectives..) yep. haha. den met this super bhb OGL named catherine.. ya. keep saying she very chio... haha. i got no comment man.. ok la. not bad la. *ooops* haha. hi jas!! haha. sowwie.. cant save u now... need to save the rest before HE comes. =) i'll drop by when i can!! haha. josh!! u slacker... slack at home.. i wanna slack too... lol. too bad cant cuz need to go lecture*bleahz*. yep yep.. angeline! haha.. too bad ya gotta go school... awww.... aiya. i oso need to la. dun complain. =) lalalala lalalala dupin (stupid) song.... kk. internal joke. =) kk. gtg le. bubai pple. dun miss me!

my first two days in PJ!!!

2005-01-04T23:02:00.000-08:00

ahhhhhhhhhh.................. its so boring!!!! rlly.... the whole programme not planned properly... and its like the principal talks real slow?!?!?!?! in hui yi's words, "if he talks any slower, he'll be talking backwards.." really!!! haha.. yep. so sad i cldnt get into AC.. stuck in PJ.. rlly boring... den tomorrow still have discipline talk!!! u tell me sian or not? haha. i feel like ponning lor.. rlly. its soooooo boring.. think im gonna bring either a book or pillow there.. sigh. den my jie left too..... so sadddd.... cannot tell her of the nonsense experience in PJ.. now i noe why she left after two weeks.. lol. =) and i miss josh and jas... so sad.. josh still slacking at home?!?!?!?!? ah..... and jas gets all the fun... while i sit in PJ and rot... lol. rlly wat.. oh no... just realised something.. just remembered PGT's gonna kick my butt!! haha.. i think to those hu noe wat im talking about... ya. =P lol. haha. and no... its not whatever crazy thing u crazy pple are thinking.. =D okie.. gtg sleep le.. tomorrow gotta be in school by 720... den leaving only at 6.. wah.. yep. nietz. God bless... =)